To Love and To Lose
by Kristal
Summary: BTVSHP. Oneshot. James had loved someone else before Lily and now in Heaven they are finally reunited. RR.


**To Love and To Lose **

**Rating:** PG

**Pairings:** James/Buffy, James/Lily

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or Buffy characters, series storylines, etc - they belong to their respectable creators.

**Summary:** Oneshot. James had loved someone else before Lily and now in Heaven they are finally reunited. R/R.

**Timeline:** James and Lily were murdered (1981) about at age 20, having married and had a child directly out of Hogwarts. Buffy was taken from Hogwarts to be slayer at age 15… moved to LA then to Sunnydale, and then died at 20-21… just felt like throwing that out there to possibly make more sense.

**Notes:** Here is another story I found in an old notebook. I finished it up here… though I suppose if I ever wanted to I could form this into a full length story, not that I have enough already going in all my notebooks and other recent story I posted on here (Never Normal, check it out!). Anyway, one with thine story!

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James remembered her well, how could he now? Her face was still as beautiful, her hair still as bright as gold, and her eyes, her beautiful emerald eyes shimmered in the darkness. She was amazingly beautiful, just as he remembered, just as he dreamed.

Her elegance intimidated him though; she seemed perfect, flawless, almost as if inhuman. But that could not be, that was not as he remembered. She couldn't change. No times that passed could change her. She was his. And if she changed, everything else would too.

Yet it already had, everything had already changed. She had sworn to be his. But he was an idiot. He was a cheat. He was a man who deserved far less than she was worth. Her anger turned to hate and she disappeared whilst still hating him. James' heart was shattered, he failed her, he did everything bad that would happen in one's relationship and did it to his own. And she never accepted his apology. And he never had the chance to beg her for it.

She was killed by death eaters, her own kind. Her body was never found. But her blood had been spilt to a point of no hope. But James, he never gave up hope. James' prayed that she would return to him. But she did not. No one ever saw her again.

Everyone told him to stop. They told him to forget. So he stopped. But nothing could make him forget. His heart had been completely torn from him. But then Lily came. His friends, they forced the two together. And every time James looked into Lily's green eyes, he could bring himself to believe they were her emerald orbs.

Lily knew this. Lily knew that every time James looked at her, he was seeing her dead best friend. She let it be though. And some how, Lily came to forget, not fully, but for moments. And Lily knew that at times, James too would forget briefly, merely for seconds before his caring, gentle dark eyes would turn to those that were lost.

Years went by and the two married, the loving couple people adored. James learned to love Lily as well, not to the degree that he loved her, but nonetheless he did love Lily. Soon after their marriage, Lily grew pregnant. His thoughts stayed with her and their unborn child. Lily knew his change and loved the man he became just for her, as if she were truly the only one he loved.

But then Harry was born, black hair and green eyes. And all James would think was that his son should be hers. His focus turned to his work and, as an auror, he was constantly busy.

Harry was just over a year old when James and Lily had to go into hiding. James became terrified for his young child, his wife, and himself. And some part of him knew that he would not last through the year. But as much as this would unsettle someone, it didn't for James. He believed that it would be with his death that he would finally be able to see her again, to hold her in his arms, to kiss her, to apologize to her one more time.

It was a Halloween night that he died, that James and Lily Potter were struck down by Lord Voldemort. He had died saving his son, trying to save his wife, doing something that he could not have done for her. He walked through Heaven's gates that night, his wife not far behind. James held his wife and together they waited to see if their son would be brought to them in angel's arms. But alas, the night was through and their young son was not to join them.

A few months passed and than another year, but that was no matter to James and Lily, time was not relevant in their heavenly domain. Together they watched over their son and greeted ones they knew who were now joining them in Heaven. People would wait and greet newly dead. And James had wondered all these years why she had not greeted him. And some part of him hoped again that she had not died, that if she wasn't dead, she would live a long happy life.

But James' new hopes shattered as he was called to the gates. Lily and he watched as the petite young woman walked through the gates, a smile wide upon her face. James remembered her well, every little detail, and his heart leapt at the mere sight of her. She was her. She was his.

Her emerald eyes locked with his and her smiling face was brought to that of contentment. James turned to his wife and she smiled sadly. Slowly Lily's head gave a small nod and James needed only that nod to shorten the distance between him and his first and true love. She needed no more encouragement as she threw her arms around his neck grinning. James found himself smiling just as broad as his arms were wrapped around her holding her tight against him.

James whispered only one word, just one word. This one word held so much in it. It said so much, meant so much. And he whispered it with such delicacy afraid if he said it any louder she would be torn from his arms once more.

"Buffy."

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